How to Find a Godly Husband or Wife, Bible Style

One question that haunts many single Christians is how to find a Christian husband or wife. It is natural not to want to walk through life alone, but instead to have someone to share it with. The Bible says Proverbs 18:22, Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord. So how do you meet this need in your life?

The two most important decisions in your life are: 1. Salvation, and 2. Who your husband or wife will be. Without salvation our lives are doomed to an eternity in hell. Without salvation we don’t have the Almighty God who is willing to guide our steps. Be sure to examine your heart about the state of your soul and get saved if you are not already a Child of God.

Finding a Godly Spouse

Finding a godly spouse is not a 1, 2, 3 step process. As you may be painfully aware, there is no ‘magic’ formula for this step in your life. Instead it is one that requires prayer, honesty with God, and placing your trust in His faithfulness. Countless people, both lost and saved, can be heard lamenting who they married. That isn’t what you want! So from the very beginning be willing to wait on God.

Pastor Mike and Sue Lemmon lighter

Let me say that again, Be willing to wait on God.

Psalm 27:14 reads, Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

God wants the very best for you, so don’t run ahead of Him.

Looking in the Right Place for a Wife

Look in the right place for a husband or wife. The WRONG place to look is a bar, club, or other place that is a feast of the flesh. Christians shouldn’t be found in those surroundings. They should be repugnant to you. You shouldn’t feel comfortable in them or feel drawn to them.

Actually, we shouldn’t be out looking for a spouse. Instead we should be praying about it. Looking with our spiritual eyes is very different than looking with our physical eyes. So one of the right places to look for a mate is from your prayer closet on your knees.

Regularly attending church is also important. If you want a godly husband, do you think God is going to give you one when  He can’t even trust you to be found in church when the doors are open? Make your church life not just on Sundays. Instead, get involved and serve. God loves a cheerful giver, so give of your time, treasure, and talent.

Adam and Eve ~ The First Bible Couple

In the very first chapters of Genesis you find the first Bible couple of Adam and Eve. Finding a spouse has been an endeavor of mankind since the beginning. When Adam found that there was only animals for him, he wasn’t very happy. So God caused him to fall into a deep sleep. Then God supernaturally created Eve and presented her to Adam. Adam was asleep, instead of out combing every local church, bar, social club, and every internet dating website! If a relationship is not built on Christ, then it will not stand. Begin with a sure foundation and trust God to bring that special person to you.

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

Matthew 7:7-8 say, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: (8) For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

Prayer is a major portion of finding a godly wife. Let the Lord know your need. It seems the harder we pray for something the sweeter the victory when that prayer is answered. And be confident that he will answer.

One good idea is to make a prayer list of prayer requests and place a spouse at the top. Then write down the date that each one of the prayers is answered. Our pastor said he did that before he met his wife. He made an entire list and within a week each prayer was answered, except the wife. But it reassured him that God knew his need and would answer it in His time. It was actually a few more years before he met Sue. But seeing those answered prayers gave him confidence that God would answer the prayer request at the top of the list.

Don’t Accept Second Best

If you meet someone don’t be afraid to ask your Pastor’s opinion of him or her. In a multitude of counselors there is peace. Spend time around other believers. Go to picnics together. Go to church together. Go to other church members houses together. See how that person reacts when they get hurt, pressured, stressed, or upset. Remember what you see is what you are getting. Don’t enter a relationship thinking that you can change the other person. Instead carefully and prayerfully evaluate if you can accept the other person’s reactions before you loose your heart to them.

God desires to give you the very best, if you will let him. His answer may very well be WAIT! So be willing to wait. Be willing to accept counsel of others. True friends want to see you happy and satisfied. So don’t cut them out of the process. God shows us His will through the Bible, prayer, and other believers. So don’t cut any of the three out.

Headwaters Baptist Church